"Random Awesome Things" Giveaway at my blog. ♥
"Random Awesome Things" Giveaway at my blog. ♥
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Fictional characters that I have secret crushes on;
♥ Maurice Moss of The IT Crowd
♥ Michael Cera (and by that, I mean, every character that he's ever played. because they're all the same.)
♥ A handful of guys on the show Lost. (I don't like the show. But I like the characters.)
- I am going to see The Smashing Pumpkins on the 24th!
- & Rasputina on the 25th!
- I will be the owner of an iphone soon! (I am an apple-whore!)
My mom on prom night, 1972
As some of you already know, my mom passed away on March 16th. I have been handling the whole situation surprisingly well. I reckon my years of practising positivity have paid off. Also, I really believe that my mom has been giving me her strength. She has always been strong, bold, and sassy. I've always been the complete opposite; shy, quiet, and timid. Ever since my mom went into the hospital on March 4th, I feel as though she's been giving me this crash-course in life. Within a month, my life has changed drastically. I've had to face so many fears and anxieties. I feel as though my mom did this for me to make me stronger. I can survive this; I can survive anything.
Old photos of my mom. She is so beautiful.
My new mantra lately has been, "Every day is magical." My mom taught me this. She has taught me so many lessons recently and I am so grateful. I want to celebrate life every day. In every way I can. I'm happy to say that my blogging shall resume. And my joy and bliss shall resume. I plan to rock my life hardcore. In honour of my mom. ♥
|I found this laying in the middle of my mom's bed, the day after she passed away; A tiny angel charm with a purple string tied to it. Purple is her favourite colour.|
My mom's senior high school picture ♥
My blog has been on hiatus for over a week and will probably continue to stay that way for a while because: I am currently going through the most terrifying time of my life. On March 4th, my mom and I made plans to go out to dinner and then go shopping afterwards. It seemed extra special to me because ever since I moved in with my boyfriend, I hadn't really gotten to see my mom as much as I'd like. So, we went out to dinner and after we left the restaurant and got into the car, my mom started breathing heavy and strangely. She then said to me, "I can't breathe. Take me to the hospital! I can't breathe!" The hospital was only about five minutes away, but about halfway there, my mom went unconscious. When I got there, a bunch of hospital workers pulled her out of the car & onto a stretcher and took her away.
The doctors still aren't sure what exactly happened, but their guess is that, somehow, food got into her lungs and stopped her breathing. Then, somewhere along the way, she ended up having a heart attack. My mom's heart stopped multiple times and one time for over ten minutes. She is currently in the ICU of the hospital. Brain scans were done on her and I'm told that the only brain activity that's occurring is seizure activity. So now, my family and I have to decide if we want to let her live or let her go. There is little to no hope of recovery.
To make things even worse and stressful, it is now up to me to take care of all of the finances. My father is still alive, but he is 73 years old and really can't do a whole lot for himself. My mom took care of him and she took care of all the bills. Now it's all my responsibility. Oh, and.. it just keeps getting worse. Unfortunately, my mom wasn't very good with her money. I've looked over all the bills, that I know of, that I need to pay, and every single one is past due by at least a month, if not more.
So, honestly, I'm feeling more stressed, helpless, and desperate than I've ever felt in my life. This is the worst thing that has ever happened to me. Any other problem that I've ever had in the past just seems pitifully ridiculous now. Every stress, fear, and insecurity I've ever had in my life was a waste of time. I know this now. Even though I'm extremely depressed and scared for the most part now, I actually feel stronger than ever. My mom is teaching me how to be strong. She made me realise that I can't waste my life. I have to work harder than ever now to make my dreams come true. Everything I do from now on, I'm doing it for her. One of the last times I spoke to her, she told me that she wants me to be happy and successful and live a better life than she ever had. I'm more determined than ever now.
My mom & me with Jason Mewes. Haha.
I absolutely hate asking for help. I've always had a really hard time accepting favours from people. But now, I'm feeling so hopeless. I really need any help that I can get. So, if you would like to donate anything, my paypal address is firstname.lastname@example.org or you can click the donate button below. Also, if you'd like to purchase anything from my etsy shop, that would help too. Even if you can't donate anything, that's fine! I am also greatly in need of prayers and positive energy.
Please note, all donations that I receive will be going towards the following things: medical expenses for my mom (or funeral arrangements if it comes to that), my father's bills (electric, water, mortgage, et cetera), and any possible necessities for both my mom and dad.
I thank you all in advance for your help, donations, positive energy, and prayers. I will never forget this. If any of you ever need my help in the future, I will be sure to do anything and everything I can for you.